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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen 

There was a period – brief but encouraging – in the first Transformers movie – that suggested that action über-director Michael Bay (The Rock, Bad Boys, Armageddon, Pearl Harbor)  had finally figured out how to give a human soul to his loud, hyperactive, whirling and exploding contraptions of film.  Yes, of course all of that is relative – how much humanity can you really find in a movie about weird robots fighting each other in the streets and neighborhoods of Los Angeles?  However, finally in the career of the gadget-infatuated auteur, one of his films actually had a bit of interesting characterization and teen angst before the gratuitous mayhem.  This short respite from Bay’s jack-hammer style was eventually overwhelmed by a typical Bay ending – full of explosions, crashes, shooting, fighting and formulaic destruction. 

Still, that glimmer of hope extended to this second film in the burgeoning Transformers franchise – if attention was returned to nerdy hero Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBoeuf), his way-too-hot-for him girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox) and his magic sports car, then the film may be a surprisingly enjoyable diversion, like its predecessor. 

Instead, Revenge of the Fallen turns out to be a nearly endless (two an a half hours!) orgy of robot-on-robot violence, with its human characters essentially shooed off to the sidelines for huge chunks of the screen time – and even when they are there they are given very little to do but run and avoid explosions. 

The biggest problem with Revenge of the Fallen is that it suffers from a bad case of way too many Transformers. 

After all, let’s face it – I said this in my review of the first movie and I still feel this way – the Transformer robots are really kind of ridiculous contraptions.  They are big and gawky, they speak like they are in a cheesy old cartoon and they have wheels, doors and windows poking out in all sorts of weird angles.  The transformations – where they shift different pieces of their bodies to change from cars, planes or toy trucks into huge robots is visually arresting for a very short time, but then quickly becomes kind of a case of “been there, done that.” 

In this film the bad robots even figured out how to make a single robot that can imitate a human being – a particularly attractive female human being – and yet they don’t seem to bother to create more than one of these well-disguised cyborgs to infiltrate the humans. 

The central problem with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is that, honestly, it’s hard to work up that much passion as to whether two machines beat the crap out of each other.  Machines can’t really feel pain.  They can’t feel loss.  If one breaks down, someone else will build a new one.  It’s all special effects.  It does not connect on a personal level or really matter to anyone who is past puberty. 

Even the romantic story which made the first film so bearable is fumbled awkwardly.  In the last film, Sam was shocked that a girl like Mikaela would ever be interested in him – as it should be: she’s way out of his league.  However, somewhere in the last couple of years Sam has gotten way too comfortable in his skin, so that the only real romantic conflict here is that Mikaela can’t get Sam to say the words “I love you.”  He obviously does love her.  She obviously loves him.  He knows intellectually that she can do better than him.  Yet, still he treats her poorly – forgetting dates and pushing her to the side.  Just say the words, idiot.  You are supposedly head over heels for her and you obviously aren’t going to do any better.  Most men in his position would say the words often and without urging. 

Of course, this tamping down of the romantic fire pretty much makes “it” girl Megan Fox’s performance superfluous to the film.  All she really gets to do in this movie is run, stretch out sexily, avoid explosions and half-heartedly try to break up with Sam.  She does it all well enough, I guess, but it still seems like a waste of talent.  Any generic hot girl could do this stuff. 

Also, for a film which is targeted for a younger audience – after all, it is based upon toys – Transformers 2 has an awful lot of foul language.  I saw the film with my seven-year-old nephew and while I am the last person in the world to suggest dumbing or watering movies down for kids, I was disturbed by what he was hearing in what is basically a kids’ film. 

The truth is they better make this movie suitable for kids, because I can’t imagine that too many adults are going to enjoy it all that much.

Jay S. Jacobs

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Copyright ©2009   PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: June 23, 2009.