The Hottie and the Nottie
There is no real sport in writing a review trashing The Hottie and the
Nottie.
I
know it sucks. You know it sucks. Paris Hilton knows it sucks. The writer
knows it sucks. So does the director. The production company that is
depending on the infamous Hilton name to get a marginal opening weekend
before bad word-of-mouth condemns the movie to the bottom of the DVD racks
knows it sucks. The projectionist knows it sucks. The guy at the popcorn
counter knows it sucks.
So
pointing out how much it sucks seems almost churlish – sort of like kicking
someone when they are down.
Then
again, it is hard to feel too sorry for the movie-makers who were so cynical
that they spent no time or effort creating a story that could maximize the
extremely limited talents of their celebutant star in her little vanity
movie.
Couldn’t they have thrown some of the Hilton billions towards a competent
screenwriter and better co-stars that could prop up their star?
After all, as much as it hurts me to say this, Hilton’s 2006
song “Stars
are Blind” was actually a very catchy and well-made
single. It worked because
Hilton’s handlers were smart enough to hire professional musicians,
songwriters and producers who could distract the listeners from their
front-person’s vocal limitations.
The
makers of The Hottie and the Nottie took no such care, which is
obvious from just hearing the movie’s lame title.
Things don’t get any better from there. The storyline in a nutshell (and
let’s face it, it doesn’t get any deeper than a nutshell) has Hilton playing
the most attractive woman in Los Angeles, who just happens to be
the best
friend of the ugliest.
Right away this gives the movie a credibility problem. Hilton is relatively
attractive in a stripperish kind of way, but no one is going to mistake her
for a supermodel.
Particularly in a show-business town like Los Angeles, which lures
attractive women with the promise of stardom in dumb movies like The
Hottie and the Nottie, Paris would be very lucky to rank in the top 30
percent of hotness.
Nonetheless, in the movie's skewed world view, every man in the LA
area wants to date Paris. Problem is, Paris has decided she’s
not going to date until her unattractive friend
finds love, too. (I haven’t bothered to refer to Hilton by her
character’s name, because it really doesn’t matter, she is playing Paris. Does that make her friend's
character a back-handed slap at Nicole? Doubt it, but you never know.)
If
you don’t know where all of this is going, then you
probably deserve to have to sit through
The Hottie and the Nottie.
For
the rest of the world, please for your own sake, avoid The Hottie and the
Nottie at all costs. It’s bad enough that I had to sit through it
for this article.
Don’t compound that mistake and encourage such incompetence
with your hard-earned time and money.
Dave Strohler
Copyright ©2008 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved.
Posted: February 18, 2008.
