Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever
Ten
reasons I hated Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever:
1.
It
has replaced Tori Spelling’s
Mother May I Sleep With Danger? as the
worst movie title ever.
2.
No
matter what anyone says, Antonio Banderas just can’t act! He overacts and mugs more than any respected actor
this side of Gary Oldman.
3.
Nobody
has ever claimed Lucy Liu can act, and they are right.
Great hair though…
4.
Director
Wych “Kaos” Kaosayananda explains the deep significant artistic meaning of the
film by telling Entertainment Weekly, “You come in, a lot of stuff blows up, and you have a good time
watching it.'' And he considers this a selling point.
5. Just
the fact that the director goes only by the name Kaos. It's doubly annoying that I
bet he won't even get all the Get Smart references.
6.
The
ads are trying to kiss up to the kids by referring to the main characters as two
“extreme” agents. What the hell are
extreme agents?
7.
It’s
based on a video game, for goodness sake. That allows it to join a treasured movie
tradition that also brought us such classics as Resident Evil, Wing Commander, Tomb
Raider and Super Mario Brothers.
8.
It
has no story, just one explosion, crash, fight or action scene after another. It is
the type of movie that wants to be referred to as a thrill ride. That is the biggest
cliché in the world, trying to forgive films for not having any values other than stunts.
Well, movies have to at least pretend to have stories and characters. Unlike
thrill rides.
9. Come
on, who has ever really met anyone named Ecks or Sever?
10.
It wasted
an hour and a half of my life that I will never get back again.
(9/02)
Dave
Strohler
Copyright
© 2002 PopEntertainment.com.
All rights reserved. Posted: November
6, 2002.
